thankful for all the little blessings in my life

as we stood in front of my dearly departed grandma's house with the famous turkey i began to think about all the things i have to be thankful for. one is my wonderful family. even though we are dysfunctional we are still functional and who is perfect anyway, or for that matter who would want perfect. life's little imperfections make us who we are and are what create some of the best memories. looking at this picture now i can't help but think how lucky i am to have this wonderful little boy in my arms who at first was not to sure about the turkey, but was definitely curious. i am so lucky to have that little turkey in the oven too, although he is not looking to be so little anymore by the size of my stomach in this picture. if my belly button was a turkey thermometer then this little turkey would be done. like my first little man he will want to stay in there for as long as he can until i tell him it is time to come out. i am thankful for everyday god gives me with my family and friends for each day is truly a treasure. i love my life and i love to wake up every morning to see what it is going to bring me next.

thankful for snow....finally!

not really sure what this is?

mommy & daddy what is this?

daddy throwing little snowballs at me

getting a little more adventurous

completely covered and cold time to go in!

so we finally got some measurable snow here in denver after a long spout of unseasonably warm and dry weather. after a couple days of company and a nice afternoon nap today, we decided to venture out in the white stuff that brady woke up to this morning. all day he has been looking out the front window saying, "whoa". we bundled him up although i am a slightly unprepared mommy we have now winter boots, must get on that immediately, so our time was cut short outside because i was afraid his feet were too wet and cold. i know this isn't really his first snow, but in a way it is. last year he was too little to really appreciate the stuff. daddy carried him out and set him in the snow as he bent down for the first time and stood up to look at his snow covered mitten he said, "whoa" again. he was definitely baffled as to why he was having such a hard time walking in the stuff, we reassured him that will come with experience. it is finally beginning to look a lot like christmas here.

thankful for daddy

so i am totally copying a great idea off of my friend meghan. i can't help it she is full of so many! she started the thankful for blogging and i thought what a great idea the week of thanksgiving! brady and i are so lucky to have daddy in our lives. our unsung hero who gets up every weekday morning and goes to work to pay for food, diapers and fun. we don't tell him often enough how much we appreciate him. i know how much he would love to be at home with us everyday and how much he misses out on by not being able to. he is mister fix it around this house, constantly doing projects and when he is halfway through one i always am finding some other little thing i need fixed. truth being told he likes to do projects, but i don't think he would ever say it out loud. he is the best barbecue man and last night proved to be a pretty good smoker too! love to eat anything this man cooks, that is one of the reasons i fell in love with him over 6 years ago. he is always making brady and i laugh even if the situation is a serious one. i could go on and on and bore you all, so i will stop here and leave some stuff left unsaid. let this be known we are so thankful that daddy is our daddy and in our family, i know we could not make it with out you. love you daddy!

what a beautiful day to be at the park

we have been so blessed lately to have warm days into november here. brady loves to be outside and especially loves to go to the "ark" brady language for park. we had such a great time playing with our friends today and enjoying this last little bit of warm weather before winter finally settles in (if it ever does this year). a friend of mine has been blogging about things to be thankful for. so today i was thankful for nice weather, good friends and swinging of course!

WOW!

Daddy got the Christmas lights put up on Sunday while Brady and I spent time with family before they left town. When we pulled up to the house that night everyone in the car rolled down the windows and said "WOW!" When Brady got out of the car and went to investigate what daddy had done to our house he said, "WOW!" and continued to say it for the rest of the night. One of life's cutest moments ever. He really is going to enjoy all the lights during the holidays this year!

finding comfort in moments of sorrow

friday was a very emotional and difficult day for me. we laid my grandma to rest. most of the day i kept thinking to myself how sad i am for brady and for baby boy smith II in my belly that they won't remember their GG. they will know her only through the stories and pictures that we share. my heart ached most of the day because she was such a remarkable lady and had so much to share with my boys. i know I need to trust that i will be able to pass all of that along and let her memory live on for generations to come. while we were having my grandmas reception i couldn't help but notice brady in the corner of the family room playing with his papa (great grandpa adkins). i stopped and paused for a moment and then began to smile. even though he has lost the opportunity to grow up around one of his great grand parents and there is no way to replace her. he does have other living great grand parents that he will be able to learn from and share moments of his life with. a special thanks to all of my family and friends that day that helped me with brady so i could have time to grieve. i couldn't have made it through with out you.

another angel called home

early this morning god decided to call another one of his angels home. while i feel at peace knowing that grandma is no longer suffering i also feel great sadness and loss. i know she is in a better place now with her husband and her mom and dad. i know that she is much happier and is looking down on all of us right now trying to help us through this in her own way. i keep thinking if i sit still long enough i may be able to feel her comforting touch that i remember as a little girl. i am sad that i won't have my thursday ritual anymore of packing up brady and the car and heading over to GG's to visit. i am sad that brady did not get to say goodbye to his GG. i am sad that the little man in my belly will never get to meet her. i am sad that i will not get to see my grandmas little kid at christmas face wheeling through my hospital door after i give birth because she is so excited to hold the baby. my faith tells me that she will be here for all of the things to come in the future and will be watching over me and her great grand children every day. in a way i feel blessed i have my own personal guardian angel now. all i can do now is remember all the good times with grandma and when i am having a bad moment as a parent remember her words of encouragement every thursday. she would always tell me what a good job i was doing with brady, words i most definitely needed to hear. i will remember the home made mac and cheese she would make me, and yes it was better than the stuff in the box. i will remember that i got to watch soap operas with her, long before i should have as long as promised to cover my eyes when things got a little heated (if you know what i mean) between people. i will remember running through the sprinklers in her front yard, playing in her gardens and back field when i got to go stay with her on summer days. i love you so much grandma and will miss you dearly so if you are listening to all of this blow me a kiss from heaven i could really use it right now.

one tough old bird

it seems that my grandmother has inherited some of the spirit and toughness of the many birds she feeds at her small wildlife refuge at her house. she has encountered yet another speed bump in her long list of ailments lately. after a surgery to remove a stomach ulcer and the loving care of the extremely gifted nurses and doctors in the icu unit at luthern, she appears to be getting better. the doctors and nurses all keep reminding us that she has a long road ahead of her and a lot to over come given her current condition, but she is fighting and this morning we were told that her white cell count is down and that she is starting to over come the infection in her abdomen. it was wonderful news to get this morning since it has been my first call of the morning for the last couple of days to call the hospital to see how she weathered the night. it is never fun to see someone who has been a part of your life, well for as long as you remember lay in a hospital bed with a breathing tube in them. this is something that i hope i won't have to see much longer or ever again for that matter. even though the doctors say that she is pretty out of it though i love that when i go and hold her hand and talk to her about brady how she tries to talk although she can't and raises her eyebrows and moves her hand a little to let me know that she can hear me. i love my grandma very much and has much as i don't want to see her suffer anymore i am not ready to let her go either, i guess no one i ever ready for that. i know she is trying to stay here for something. whether it be for the family or something else we don't know now, but i know that when god is ready it is out of all our hands and he will call her home to a better place that we can only dream of. we love you grandma.

more book please!

If you are wondering if these are some of the books we have been reading lately you would be correct, but the significance is we read all of these in a row in one night. Most nights we read two or three books, but this night we read ten in a row. We would finish one and then say "all done". Brady would then crawl off of the chair go to his book cupboard pick out another book hand it to me and then crawl back up into the chair (which I must say is still a lot of work for the little guy) and sign more and then say "book". This continued until after book ten mommy said "all done" and redirected his attention to something else. I do have to say I am so excited that he is taking such an interest in reading and in books. He absolutely loves them. I guess all that reading I did to him at one and two months old is finally paying off. We already have one smart cookie but he is getting smarter every day.

we voted

aaaah the feeling of election day. my husband refused to do a mail in ballot because he likes the feeling of going in on the day of super tuesday and voting. little did he know he would finally catch what brady and i had just a little later than the rest of us. but those of you who did not make it to the polls for various excuses you still have a couple of hours, and if my husband can make it feeling awful from the flu then anyone can make it. i love the feeling you have when you walk out after voting. the feeling that your voice does matter and you had a little stake in history...... what a great country we live in. oh yeah brady had his first voting experience and he was so good! he sat there and drank his milk, said a couple words (i did not understand) in his inside voice and we were out of there. no lines, no wait and cheat sheets in hand to remember all the things on the ballot this year. can't wait to see how history will play out over the next few hours but i will say i won't miss the ten phone calls a day and the one to two visitors a day to our door reminding us to vote..........

Halloween 2008 with the Smith's

We sure did have fun with Brady this year. Our little Spider had lots of fun going to Boo at the Zoo, the Grant Ranch Trick or Treat, the Party at Auntie Ree's work, visiting GG at Dialysis (must say he was the hit of the show there) and of course Will and Carter's party which included some trick or treating! Daddy got lots of Candy! Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!

daddy day

well i finally did it, i let go....... only because i had to...... i was very ill.......but it all turned out okay and both of them survived. so now that i know i can watch out daddy.... there may be more of these to come. brady and daddy ventured up to fort collins yesterday without mommy for the rams game. mommy was up most of the night with what we will call a stomach bug. so i mustered up the energy to pack the snacks and the rest of the diaper bag and waved goodbye from my pillow. i was really too sick to worry all day, and needless to say brian called on his way home and said what a great day he and brady had at the game. a lesson for me, that it is okay to let go and i should do it when i am feeling good, so i can do some fun things for me! thanks daddy for giving mommy the day to nurse herself back to health :)