Monday, November 10, 2008
another angel called home
early this morning god decided to call another one of his angels home. while i feel at peace knowing that grandma is no longer suffering i also feel great sadness and loss. i know she is in a better place now with her husband and her mom and dad. i know that she is much happier and is looking down on all of us right now trying to help us through this in her own way. i keep thinking if i sit still long enough i may be able to feel her comforting touch that i remember as a little girl. i am sad that i won't have my thursday ritual anymore of packing up brady and the car and heading over to GG's to visit. i am sad that brady did not get to say goodbye to his GG. i am sad that the little man in my belly will never get to meet her. i am sad that i will not get to see my grandmas little kid at christmas face wheeling through my hospital door after i give birth because she is so excited to hold the baby. my faith tells me that she will be here for all of the things to come in the future and will be watching over me and her great grand children every day. in a way i feel blessed i have my own personal guardian angel now. all i can do now is remember all the good times with grandma and when i am having a bad moment as a parent remember her words of encouragement every thursday. she would always tell me what a good job i was doing with brady, words i most definitely needed to hear. i will remember the home made mac and cheese she would make me, and yes it was better than the stuff in the box. i will remember that i got to watch soap operas with her, long before i should have as long as promised to cover my eyes when things got a little heated (if you know what i mean) between people. i will remember running through the sprinklers in her front yard, playing in her gardens and back field when i got to go stay with her on summer days. i love you so much grandma and will miss you dearly so if you are listening to all of this blow me a kiss from heaven i could really use it right now.